HIJRAAN (2010)

Another Pastho tele-drama/actioner explodes the senses ! It's a STAR Cd's and DVD's House 150 minutes production ! Those of you who have visited this reverent blog of oriental wonders before (being in a limbo dimention for almost a year) , are kinda aware of the existence of the Afghani cinema !
This time , the lead man of action (singing , dancing and crying) is Abraz Khan ! Muhammad Husain Swati is the bad guy with the glowing curly hair and the trimmed vodevillian villainous beard !
Once again , my fingers itch to call on the number seen to the left bottom of the screen : 091-2581824 . We see a family celebrating the birthday of their son . "Happy Berday" is a universal song that is loved even in the far East ! Abraz is seen talking to the mother . Are they related ? Is he her boyfriend ? They are probably in his place , since there's a huge poster of him on the wall of the living room . The same woman is seen hugging another one , who's dressed like a young boy having a fake moustache ! Is he/she her son grown up ? I t can't be ! She has tits and she's hot ! The plot thickens , since Abraz , having just woken up (and dressed casually in his jeans and t-shirt allready) , sees them from his cozy bedroom's balcony ! He has a grimache of "WTF ?" on his face . He goes after the "man" , thinking there's something fishy going on ! He makes a jealousy scene and slaps his bitch up ! The sound of a whip is heard ! Now this is a slap . He's a tough guy . He wears a "Respect your world" t-shirt . The bogus girl-man is seen talking with Muhammad . Muhammad hangs out with some guys carrying kalasnikofs and bullet belts . I guess he's tough as well . Another hot chick , accompanied by a posh guy with a trendy scarf and a midget , enter the merry group . After a disturbing text message on his cellphone (sent by the man-chick) , Abraz calls the unknown number . A man picks it up ! It's Muhammad ! He picked up the phone of the man-chick instead ! Abraz returns home and starts slapping visiously on his girlfriend ! Whipping her is more like it , since this is the soundtrack of her submission ... Abraz takes off his belt , and things get bloody . Now the sound is more like it ! Allright . The man-chick is not her grown son , 'cause her boy comes along and comforts his crying beatten mother . Another dude is with the boy . He slaps Abraz back to his senses . His wife is a saint . He can't beat her silly without a good reason . He's quite theatrical . Maybe he's her father , or her brother . Abraz is not convinced and leaves the house . Everyone cries .
On another part of the town , Muhammad is talking with the hot chick . Two guys fight for her in superhuman mode sound effects . Muhammad calls the police , since knives solved the jealousy issues of the horny dudes . Muhammad and co. overhear Abraz talking with a friend , hidden behind some bushes . He schemes with his gang and decides to throw the hot chick on him . It's some short of a trap ! Abraz fights with five tough guys who where "chassing" the hot chick ! He uses questionable martial arts to save the damsel in distress . The girl takes him to her place . There they talk with the midget . He talks with an echo . I guess another trap lies ahead . Muhammad is pleased . Abraz took the bait . He stays the night ....
Muhammad "attacks" the hot chick in the house during the night . He wears a scarf around his head . Abraz runs to the rescue once again . Another gang member comes along the next day and points a gun at the chick . She says something crucial to the plot , since Abraz is seen shaken by her words . The plan goes well . The waterworks of the hot chick help too . Abraz thinks . Don't ask me what , i don't speak the language --- But holy shit ! Abraz's wife sees a nightmare and wakes up screaming ! Abraz is married to that other chick ! She goes under the huge Abraz-poster in the living room and touches it crying . A sad lovesong is heard . A pinnacle of drama . Abraz comes for a visit and once again treats his wife like dirt . She cries and i think her brother appears and talks some sense . An old dude is holding the son nearby . Maybe he's the grand-dad after all ? The brother gets a heart attack ! Being too eccentric can cause things like that .
Have you lost interest yet ? No ? Ok , let's continue ...
It's singing time ! The tragic , poor , missunderstood and abused mother is singing while she's walking with her son , both soaked from the monsoon rain that sweaps the dirt road ! They try to protect themselves from the rain and end up finding refuge over some hey . Abraz is sleeping on his cozy bed . The wife lives in misery , but alas , Abraz doesn't seem to enjoy himself with his new amore . I think she kinda busts his balls , and what about all those other gang members ! They all share the same house ?! Either way , the always crying mother , takes her son to a road-hospital . Out on a street that is . Don't expect Grey's Anatomy in Afghanistan . Things look serious with his comatose condition . Abraz is living his own kind of ball-busting drama with the hot chick and her gangster friends .
There is a weird interval . Literally . The word INTERVAL appears out of nowhere and Abraz hands a letter to his wife . His new girlfriend takes it out off her hands and reads it . The wife cries once again . Abraz feels weird and finaly gives once again the letter to his wife . Or is it a check ? The wife returns to the open hospital in the road and tends to her child . Something is wrong with his right leg . He gives him a glass of milk , so yeah , maybe Abraz gave her money ...
The unthinkable happens next ! The Thug-with-the-fake-moustache and the midget , stumble on the wandering troubled wife of Abraz ! The thug falls instantly in love with her ! The wife returns to her everyday housewifin' misery and sings a little , while thinking about the man she just met ? Or is she thinking about Abraz ? The crying game continues on and off with her ... Until , she and the boy visit Abraz's house . She goes there to work for him ? The wife once agains touches the ridiculously enlarged poster of Abraz's face hanging on the wall . Abraz makes an entrance and talks with his ex-wife . The child starts touching the poster as well , but the new girlfriend becomes furious ! More crying ... I'm seriously thinking of bying an Abraz Khan poster myself !
We move to the mansion's garden , where smillin' Abraz and his girlfriend sing along and dance freaky to the uptempo tune !
Back in the family's daily routine , the ex-wife causes trouble by being clumzy .
Remember the guy who stabbed a dude earlier ? He's thinking about Abraz's girlfriend . He's in jail , but what happens when he gets out ? In the meantime , Abraz shows the back of his hand to the bitchy girlfriend too ! He's the man damn it ! The bitchy girlfriend hits the young boy when Abraz leaves the house for work (judging from the huge poster , maybe he's a famous singer--or not--he's seen drinking tea behind a desk , sweating away in front of the camera) and talk shitty to the ex . The drama becomes a torment .
Back in his place , the gang has fun , with Muhammad leading the singing and dancing ! Everyone looks so sweaty ! Abraz arrives just in time , watching people he doesn't dance and sing in his house ! What the hell !? Everyone acts like he's not there and keep on dancin' around ! Sad times for Abraz . He sits alone on a couch with his inner demons and the freakin' heat never going away ! The wife watches from afar . The son goes and speaks to him . There's an aircondition somewhere , 'cause Abraz's hair and waving gently as he speaks . The wife takes the son away and Abraz awaits for the trump girlfriend to return ! He makes a scene . Again . She is drunk . He hits her , but she doesn't seem to sober up . His hair are waving wildly . The aircondition is on full ! The slapping is hard as well ! He even tries to strangle her ! He's a man of passion . She walks away . Abraz goes for a walk , thinking hard . Behind him we see a repeating garden motif on the wall tapestry . But Lo ! The guy who stabbed a dude for the eyes of Abraz's girlfriend escapes and pays her a visit ! He tries to strangle her too ! She finds a gun and shoots the crazy person down ! She feels no remorse , but pretends to be in shock when the ex comes running ! The ex takes the gun and saves the bitchy girlfriend from the police ! She takes the blame ! What a saint ! Abraz returning from his walk to the fake silly garden , watches her being taken away by the police ! The son cries . The bitch talks shit once again . What's going on in his house damn it !?
Remember the man-chick ? She visits the wife in her female self behind bars , and explains her everything ! Yep , that's a jail set for you . A couple of bars and a dirty wall ... Abraz keeps on thinking hard . He hears a female voice speaking in echo inside his head . He catches the girfriend mistreating his son . The son runs away . A policeman on a relic bike finds him . He takes him to the police station and there he sees mommy . The police Captain seems a reasonable man . I don't know what they are talking about though . Abraz hears his girlfriend telling him something important on his cellphone and jumps from his couch ! Muhammad and his gang laugh out loud . The bitch is with him ! In the meantime , the man-chick finds Abraz and explains to him what happened too ! It's like thunder strikes him ! You can hear thunder falling in her every sentence too ! We see most of the movie in black'n'white flashback . Abraz cries in shame .
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Abraz pays a visit at Muhammad's safehouse . He has a gun with him ! At gunpoint , he slaps the girlfriend around , just for good measure . A ridiculous face off with Mortal Combat theatrics , scares Muhammad away , but have no fear . Bloody justice is near : Abraz shoots them both !
So , this is it !?
On her dying breath , the bitchy girlfriend picks up the discarded gun of Abraz and shoots at the man-chick . She was there too . She had forget something ..... So , yeah , that's it ?
Nope .
The rest of Muhammad's gang returns home , holding captive the wife and son of Abraz . Infinite ammo Abraz takes care of the entire gang !
The family rejoices over the bad guys bloodied bodies !!!
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Gotcha !
Muhammad is on his dying breath too , and shoots Abraz in the back ! Four bullets where not enough to hold Abraz back , 'cause he catches him and breaks his neck !
Enter the tearfull tragic finale now !
You think ?
The police comes and arrests Abraz for multiple murder and excesive violence !