Τρίτη 4 Σεπτεμβρίου 2012

NIKA (2009)

Jahangir Khan , aka Jehangir Jani , stars in this awesome dancing/action/drama digital camera tele-film b-Pollywood production named NIKA ( it means Engagement )! If you thought Hollywood and Bollywood where the only ways to destroy your brain circuits , wait till you experience the all dancing-flager voice deep paranoia action of a Pollywood tele-drama !
Jahangir is originated from Pakistan and stared in many tele-comedies and hosted music award ceremonies . He later changed his name to Jahangir Jani and started taking leading role after leading role in almost every Pashto tele-drama actioner ! He is the leading figure in Afghani entertainment ! Check out the first ever Musafar Music Awards 2010-2011 for more cosmic awareness !
In the early years between 2000–2003 , Pashto films seemed to have lost their fans due to restrictions by the MMA ( Muttahida Majlis-e-Amal , the coalition opposition , after United States started bombing Afghanistan to overthrow the Taliban regime ) government on their publicity through banners and posters of the film stars . The labourers who came to the provincial capital , Peshawar for manual jobs used to watch Pashto films in cinemas , but due to the ban the audience of the Pashto film has reduced tremendously because it usually comprises the working class who cannot even read the names of film stars !
But what is Pashto and Pollywood ? Since this is my first entry of the particular awesome genre of modern age b-cinema in this Eastern Asia oriented blog , lets dwell a little in some ethnological history ( and pay our tribute to the digital-god that hears to the name of Wikipedia ) :
-Pollywood (Urdu: پالېوډ) is the term for the film industry based in the city of Peshawar , the provincial capital of the Khyber Pakhtunkhwa Province of Pakistan . It produces Pashto language films . Some movies are also produced in Urdu and some are a mix up of Pashto and Urdu .
-Pashto (Naskh: پښتو [paʂˈto] also transliterated Pakhto , Pushto , Pukhto , Pashtu , Paxto or Pushtu) , also known as Afghani , is the native language of the indigenous Pashtun people who are found primarily in the area between the Hindu Kush Mountains in Afghanistan and the Indus River in Pakistan . It is a member of the Eastern Iranian languages group spoken in Afghanistan and Pakistan as well as by the Pashtun diaspora around the world .
Pashto belongs to the Northeastern branch of the Indo-Iranian language family , although Ethnologue lists it as Southeastern . The number of Pashtuns or Pashto-speakers is estimated 50-60 million people world wide . The Constitution of Afghanistan declares Pashto as one of the two official languages of the country , the other being Dari (Persian) !
About the movie :
First of all , it is an AABASIN PRODUCATION ! Not a PRODUCTION , but a PRODUCATION , so it's going to be something completely different ( not of the John Kleeze with nylons kind ) . Since i don't speak the language at all , but i support the great intentions behind these kind of films , i have sum the story of this one to something like this : It is definatelly a drama . Jahangir Khan is the folk hero . Chubby beauties dance around in front of him and he fixes his hair because he is just that cool ! He talks in deep-echo voice when he wants to make something really understoor by the people next to him . There's some killing and a young boy is crying . Older people are crying as well . Men and young boys are gathered around an old man that is talking about something serious . A goat is eatting someone's slippers in the same scene . If you call the number 0300-5900691 that is shown on the bottom right side of the screen , i don't know what will happen ( i was tempted to do it myself ) . You'll probably owe shit-loads of money to the phone company afterwards , because you'll have called directly to someone in Afghanistan ! Jahangir is amongst the crowd and stands up to leave . A young woman ( singer-actress Nadia Gul ) with a boy named Huseina , probably her son , walk around the city . They wear no shoes . The young boy is washing the tires and the windshields of big cars for a living , but he doesn't get paid after washing them . He doesn't make much of a living in this line of work . The young boy imagines himself as an older cool guy who is driven around the town , but can't stay in his car . He is standing outside the moving car as he his using his cellphone ! Huseina has the ultimate show-off of ritches dreams a poor boy can have ! Back home , he and his mother have a poor meal , fool of tears . Jahangir happens to be passing by and offers them some money . Later on , the mother is fantasizing that she is wearing tight jeans and dances around Jahangir for 4 long minutes , singing to him as he fixes his hair . After some brief moments of real-life misery , Jahandir and mother get married . He brings his daughter with him and she seems to be getting along with her new brother Huseina ! More dancing and singing , this time with Jahandir taking the lead . When the song ends , they both enter a new white car and return home . The kids are missing though . Where are they ? They have grown ! Talk about creative writting ! After a song , the kids are now grown up and are like a couple ! They sing about it as well ! Things get complicated when a nefarious moustached character tries to get fresh with the young woman ! He sings too ! People that have nothing to do with the movie , simply stand and watch as a natural audience . On another scene , adult Huseina fights the moustached tough guy in hot crunchy-bone breaking-sound action mode ! Jahangir interferes and stops the fight . People with cars stop to see the movie being shot . More singing and dancing follow in the villain's headquarters ... When the happy interlude ends , the moustached tough guy is noticed by the big boss ! Who dared to beat him up !?
Outside a Mosque , Jahangir meets what it seems like an ex-girlfriend of his ( not so hot like his new wife ) ? It's the big boss' wife , and maybe the moustached tough guy's mother ! Could he be his son ? We won't find out now , because more dancing follows ( and i don't understand what they are saying either way , so i'm just guessing ) ! A creepy clown comes out of nowhere and dances too ! The police goes to someone's house . He's got a computer on a glass table . He is ritch . Huseina leaves from his home . The mother that looks disturbingly younger cries . The bad guys laught with something only they can understand . They are up to something . They even high-five each other . More singing on the mountain side . Jahangir finds Huseina and returns him home . Huseina is walking and a woman next to him is shot . Jahangir is resting and the boss'wife tries to poison him with milk ! He makes her drink it instead ! Sound effects from hell makes these happenings look more super-heroic !
All the players are gathered in the last scene . The good guys and the bad guys come out from their cars looking at each other . The bad guys have guns and all talk with fake deep voices that echo ! The daughter is shot and the cops arrive , arresting the bad guys ! As the big boss' gang is taken away , he grabs a gun and goes for Jahangir . He draws faster and kills both the boss and his son !
He says something in fake echo deep voice and the movie ends with a close up to the dead men .

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